Love, Addiction, and the Illusion of Being Chosen

There are so many people who think real love is finding someone YOU love and helping them with their problems, hoping they’ll eventually notice how nice you are and start loving you back.

That’s a trap.

You should only do one important thing - choose yourself, without looking back at your objects of affection. And don’t turn away from that path.

I’d love to say that once you do this, everything becomes easy. That you’ll feel this incredible pleasure from finally putting yourself first.

But I’d be lying.

There are people who actually enjoy suffering.

So here’s my unsolicited advice: if you crave emotional pain, at least find it somewhere outside of love.

You like heartbreak? Start smoking, then quit. And don’t allow yourself to smoke again. Make up a story if you have to: like Mr. Cigarette pulled it away from your mouth and now you’re stuck with the craving.

Or maybe you prefer physical suffering. Then go to the gym. Find a strict trainer. Stretch until it hurts. If that’s not enough - try extreme sports.

Isn’t that what you’re actually looking for?

Adrenaline.

Otherwise, you’d just be bored.

I once knew a guy who couldn’t live without it.

I was around twenty, running a small online lingerie store. He kept ordering the same pieces over and over again - same model, same color, just different sizes.

He said he loved adrenaline.

He had three families.

And countless affairs.

That was his version of it.